


Accidental Stalking, Probably

by ConfusedSaltyKitKat



Category: South Park
Genre: Accidental Death, Adorable Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Eventual Smut, Gen, I'm Sorry, Immortal Kenny McCormick, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Stalking, but kenny will always return so that's perfectly fine, but they're both blind and don't see it, eric cartman is probably not going to be seen much tbh, every other ship in this can be determined as yall see fit idc, everyone's nicer to butters except cartman who still treats him like crap, i dont know what im doing, pip's going to be mentioned, probably won't show up in more than two chapters tho, the only ships confirmed in this are bunny and dip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24350695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedSaltyKitKat/pseuds/ConfusedSaltyKitKat
Summary: Kenny McCormick is Mysterion.Leopold Stotch is Professor Chaos.Apparently, these two hate each other. In reality, both of these idiots are just completely oblivious to the fact that they both have massive crushes on one another–both in and out of costume.Meanwhile, Butters begins to worry for Kenny after he shows up to school tired and just out of it in general.His solution?Watching Kenny McCormick as his alter ego, Professor Chaos.This doesn't go as planned.Seriously.Oh, and your usual drama ensues. Arguments, fights, all that stuff.So this is like,,, on hiatus until I figure out how to carry out what I have planned, I’m sorry butnotreally
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Phillip "Pip" Pirrip/Damien Thorn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> uh hello! so like  
> this is the first time I've actually posted anything on here! I'm nervous af lol  
> if you like catch anything wrong w/ the grammar please lmk bhewgrfhk  
> i will try to come up with a schedule for posting! but it might not happen bc i'm awesome at procrastinating and that sucks

Mysterion absolutely hated getting shot to death. It hurt. And it always made him wonder if these dipshits could come up with any other way to murder people. Guns left behind evidence. As did knives, bats, and many other types of weapons he’d had to deal with in the span of six or so years. 

Now, you’re probably wondering why the _hell_ Kenny McCormick was thinking about death yet again.

It just hurt.

This time, he ended up in a dark, cold, empty abyss. He glanced down at his torso. “Oh, my parka. Sweet,” he mumbled.

Something sighed, startling the teen. “Hello, Kenneth,” it said. 

“Uh, Satan?” He tried, confused. 

“No, I’m Death,” the creature replied. They had this eerily soft voice that both soothed and freaked Kenny out. “You usually completely forget meeting with me when you do end up here,” they explained.

“Oh. Just like my friends who always forget whenever I die, huh?” Kenny joked, kicking at nothingness. 

He could see Death now, much more easily now that he actually felt dead. But he knew he’d be summoned back to the living world soon, which was a shame.

Anyways. He was pretty sure the being was actually frowning at him now, but Death didn’t have a face. Kenny just got the impression he was. 

“Why do you get yourself killed so often?” Death asked. 

“I dunno, guess I’m just a magnet for that kinda crap. Like how South Park’s a magnet for insanity. Craziest place on earth, man. You ever been there?”  
Death didn’t respond, instead choosing to sigh. Kenny was suddenly reminded of the redhead Kyle, his fiery, short-tempered friend, who liked to sigh a lot and pinch the bridge of his nose. He chuckled. _If I told Kyle about this, he’d probably lose it and then say I’ve gone mad afterwards._

“South Park is quite a mess, yes,” Death allowed. But before either could say anything, Kenny felt a small but determined tugging and he disappeared from the void. _Damn, just as I was starting to get somewhere._

He sat up in his Mysterion costume, groaning. He was still in the alley he’d been shot in, so that was… nice. Kenny stood, stretching, before climbing the side of a building and running off. 

For some reason he couldn’t remember what he’d been doing while he died. That started happening much more often lately. He never forgot his conversations with Damien in hell, or one of the angels up in heaven.

_Either way, I should get home before Karen starts to worry._

So he went home, but not after finding a secluded place to change back into his normal clothes. 

It was kind of funny how nobody had ever realized that he, Kenny fucking McCormick, was Mysterion, even though most of the signs pointed towards him. Maybe people really were stupid.

His mind eventually wandered over to Butters and the others. A frown tugged at the corners of his lips. They should’ve been able to see it was him. But not once had any of them realized it. This bothered him much more than it should’ve, considering he was supposed to keep his identity a secret. 

Kenny paused, kicking at a random stone on the sidewalk. It was around midnight by now. “They’re smart, but not very observant,” he finally mumbled, sighing. And he continued on his way.

Sadly, he could not feel the eyes of a certain someone on him, following him home. For an overly observant teenager, he really sucked at paying attention when he was tired.

Butters–or rather, Professor Chaos, had been following Kenny around for some time. He had begun to worry when Kenny started coming to class tired, wearing odd bandages on his hands and arms, and eventually, he’d come covered in bruises and would end up passing out right as he sat down. 

Of course, whenever one of his friends ever mentioned this to him, he’d smile and brush it off, saying it was no big deal. But it was a huge deal! If something or someone was hurting Kenny, Leo would make sure to deal with it himself. It was only fair. Kenny had always been there for the shorter blond, even when he had worse problems that he should’ve been dealing with.

He carefully hopped down from the building’s roof, onto some random dumpster lid. This caused a ridiculously loud noise, which made Kenny jump. _Shit._ Butters really hoped he wouldn’t come and investigate. Or maybe he would and he’d just leave him alone! He wouldn’t find out Butters was st–watching him. Hopefully.

He had terrible luck. Of course Kenny McCormick would go and investigate the noise, no matter how dangerous it seemed to be. Butters quickly moved off of the dumpster and leaned over, pretending he was searching for something. _Oh jeez, please don’t figure out what I was doing, please don’t, please don’t–_

“Chaos?” Kenny muttered, raising a brow as he stood over the villain. Something about the way he said it reminded him of Mysterion, his arch-enemy. And one of his crushes. “The hell are you doing in the back of an alleyway? Thought you’d be off fighting with Mysterion or something.”

Leo stood, straightening his back. “I-I lost one of my little minions,” he lied, biting his tongue. Kenny seemed to believe it, though. He ran a hand through his hair. 

“One of those weird little gerbil things you like to bring everywhere with you when you’re out and about destroying things?” 

“They’re not weird,” Leo cried out, blushing madly. “They’re my minions of doom and I need them!” 

A small smirk. “Really? Must suck.” He pulled his face-mask back up and began to move away. “I’ve gotta get home. Goodbye, Professor Chaos.” 

Leo wanted to stop him, but he’d probably seem weird. Besides, he was pretty sure Kenny hated him–well, this side of him, this mask he’d created for when he was angry at everything and wanted to see the world burn. The powers he’d gained from a certain accident actually helped with this. 

ANYWAYS, Leo stood there and watched as Kenny disappeared once again. He sighed and left for his own home, climbing in though the window once he’d gotten there. He yanked his outfit off and threw it to the back of his closet, quickly changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt. And then he tossed himself into his bed, not even bothering to plug his phone in to charge. He’d regret that later. For now, Leo just wanted to sleep, and forget what he’d done. _Freaking embarrassing_ as hell. Just thinking about the way he’d acted caused his face to burn up. He groaned, yanking the covers over his head and trying to rest. 

Tomorrow would be an interesting day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, thank you for reading ack  
> again, if you've caught anything wrong with like  
> my grammar and stuff, please let me know I'm sorry aaaaa  
> sorry if this felt a little too short but i'm trying to figure out how long i should make the chapters uegfehuifagyuf  
> anyways thank you ok bye!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Leopold Stotch absolutely hated mornings. Mainly because they consisted of screaming and shouting and throwing things. Which was why he was in a rush to escape his house. The only good thing about today would probably be his friends. He hoped. 

He raced outside with his bag, yanking his jacket on. Wishing he had longer legs and more stamina. Butters ran down the sidewalk to the bus stop, where his friends waited for the bus. “Heya, fellas!” He called.

Kyle, Stan, and Kenny were the only ones who acknowledged him. Eric didn’t. He never did, but that was to be expected. “Hi, Butters.”

Orange sleeves were wrapped around Butters’s torso, pulling him into one of his signature bear hugs. “Leo!” The blond said, and he could tell Kenny was grinning just from the tone of his voice. “How’ve you been?”

“Well I’ve been doing good! My parents finally ungrounded me, too.” He shifted around in Kenny’s arms to look up at his best friend, smiling brightly. “Have you been getting enough rest?”  
Kenny opened his mouth to answer, but stupid Eric decided at that moment to shout a certain homophobic slur, and then the bus rolled up. Eric raced onto the bus, leaving the other four. Butters knew Ken would’ve probably gone after him and strangled him, seeing as his expression was contorted in fury and something else he couldn’t quite pin down. So he tugged on his sleeve, giving the pretty boy a reassuring smile. This calmed him.

It was probably a good thing, but Leo couldn’t help but worry. Kenny had the same expression he had on when he ran into Professor Chaos last night. They boarded the bus together, following behind Kyle and Stan. When they talked, Butters wasn’t able to pay attention. He was stuck in his own mind, in his weird, confusing thoughts that even he couldn’t decipher. 

He was like that all day. 

All. Day. 

It wasn’t until his final class ended that he snapped out of it. Butters was standing absentmindedly at his locker, staring off to the side when a certain cocky blond wearing a violently bright orange parka sauntered over, startling him. “Hey, Leo,” he said, ruffling his hair. 

Butters automatically slapped his hand away as he whirled around, panicked. His anxiety only increased when he saw that it was Kenny. “Oh geez! I’m sorry, Ken, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Kenny reassured him, eyes crinkling. It was hard to tell whether or not he was grinning with that ridiculous mask on, but judging from his tone, Leo thought he was. He breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Thank god, I thought I’d hurt ya or somethin’,” he mumbled, glancing away awkwardly. Kenny raised a brow. 

“Leo, I wouldn’t be mad if you did hurt me, especially not if it was an accident. Anyway, d’you have anything planned after school?” The taller of the two asked, quickly changing the topic as he pulled his mask down. Butters paused for a moment, noting how quickly and smoothly he’d changed the topic, before closing his locker. 

“No, I don’t think so! Did you have something in mind that you wanted to do?” He asked, smiling up at his friend. Sometimes he wished he was taller so he didn’t always have to look up to meet his gaze, but at the same time, being short was really nice. He wasn’t very happy when Cartman grew to be taller than him, though, the asshole. Another thing he could use to get under Butters’s skin.

“Well, not really. But Kyle invited us over, if you wanna come?” Kenny asked, biting his lower lip. Butters managed not to giggle at this action. 

“I-I dunno,” he replied. “Is Eric goin’?” 

“We can never be sure. He always invites himself, y’know? Stupid asshole,” Ken said, a hint of affection in his words despite the insult. Butters found himself growing a little jealous, even though he had a much closer relationship with Kenny than Eric did. “So, you coming?”

Butters glanced off, thinking. Well, he didn’t have anything else to do today, so why not? “If you’re going, I will, too,” he decided. "But I'll have to be back home before ten. Or else I'll "

Kenny grinned, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Awesome! I’m gonna go pick my sister and her friend up first.” He pulled Butters closer. “Wanna walk with me?”

“Oh, uh.” Leo shifted, his cheeks flushed. “Okay,” he answered cheerily, before Ken could pick up on anything, and then they were moving, holding hands, Butters not really understanding what the f- _heck_ –was happening. 

The pair rushed past their classmates, Butters stumbling a little and nearly falling. But Kenny didn’t let go of his hand. He did slow down, though, glancing back. Catching Leo’s stare. Shining azure blue eyes met mismatched turquoise and seafoam green for only a moment before Butters looked away, his cheeks heating up again. Embarrassing. _Oh jeez! I shouldn’t have been staring! What if he thinks I'm weird now? Oh, hamburgers, I'd lose my best friend.._

They were outside now, heading for the middle school that was about five minutes away. Butters shivered. _Maybe I should’ve worn a thicker coat._ He glanced up at Kenny once more as he led his best friend down the sidewalk. 

Kenny paused for a moment, confusing Butters, who almost ran into his back. “Oof—Sorry!” He said, looking away in embarrassment. 

“It’s fine, Leo,” Ken replied, ruffling his friend’s hair with his free hand. “You alright? Cold or anything?”

“A little,” he mumbled, repressing another shiver. Butters did NOT want to seem like a dork in front of his closest friend. That would’ve killed him. He’d literally die of embarrassment. Then his parents would ground him.

Kenny dropped his hand, confusing Butters even more. And then he dropped his bag. And he took his parka off. “Ken, what are you–oh,” he’d started.

His orange jacket was now on Leo. It felt nice and warm, albeit a little oversized and old. Kenny picked his bag up once more and grinned at Leo as he zipped the jacket up. “There ya go. You look awesome, dude.”

Butters was trying to calm himself down as his heart fluttered. It felt as though it had been squeezed by something, making it ache in this wonderfully sweet way. Did Kenny even know what he was doing to him? Oh, god. He bit his lower lip. “Thanks,” he managed stiffly, but with a hint of affection in his tone. “B-but aren’t ya gonna be cold now?”

“Nah.”

“No?”

“Nope. Buttercup, I’ve walked longer distances than this in nothing but shorts and a tank top here. This is nothing to me, honestly. I’m actually used to it. The jacket just feels.. right.” Kenny winked at him with that stupid smile, that wonderful smile that he’d fallen in love with years ago. It wasn’t just the smile that had dragged him to falling in love with the pretty, egotistical blond, though.

“It is nice,” Leo allowed, finding himself smiling back. Kenny had also grabbed his hand while they were talking, and they had continued on their way, closer to one another. Butters gazed up at his friend, wondering what exactly was going on in that strange mind of his. How was he able to hide his emotions so easily? Why did he do that, anyway? 

“Hey, Butters? Are you alright? Leo?” Kenny asked, not exactly knowing what to do. They’d stopped walking for a moment. He usually did in these types of situations, so this was incredibly aggravating to him. “What’s wrong, dude?” When he didn’t answer, Kenny only got more worried. He moved closer to his friend and gently shook him. “Butters.”

He finally snapped out of the odd trance he was in, and jumped when he saw Kenny’s eyes staring straight into his own, so close he could feel the other’s breath on his face. “Oh! Uh, sorry, Ken,” he mumbled awkwardly, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from those pretty, shimmering azure ones. “Just thought of something stupid, it’s nothin’.” He hoped Kenny wouldn’t push any further. 

He didn’t. “Oh, alright. If you do wanna tell me anything, you’re welcome to, Buttercup. You know you’re my best friend.” He let go of his shoulders, much to Leo’s delight—he was probably as red as a tomato by now, and instead moved one of his hands to his friend’s. They kept walking in silence. It was a little awkward, but neither really minded, both caught up in their own thoughts. 

Two little girls raced over to them as they stopped on a sidewalk right in front of the middle school, one with ginger hair pulled into a short braid, and the other with dirty brown hair that reached her shoulders, the latter more familiar than the former. They were both giggling to one another about something and quieted down as they reached the teenagers. “Hiya, Kenny! Hi, Butters,” the shorter, more talkative one said. _Oh, that’s Karen!_

“Hey, girls,” Ken replied, hugging his sister with his free arm, but never letting go of Leo’s hand.

“Aw, you two have grown quite a bit! Oh, hamburgers, when was the last time I saw ya, Karen?” Butters asked, giving her an apologetic glance. The two had a connection similar to the one Kenny had with her, but they weren’t as close. Karen used to love talking with Butters about her brother, or baking, or any of the hobbies the two shared. It wasn’t unusual. In fact, this knowledge delighted Kenny. Butters remembered when he had accidentally listened in on a conversation between the two siblings, hearing something about how great it was that two of his favorite people were having a good time together. Since he didn’t want to get caught, or seem rude, he’d stopped listening and retreated to the living room, where the oldest McCormick sibling, Kevin, had been sitting on the sofa, watching television. 

“It has been a while. I'm glad to see you,” Karen agreed, smiling brightly at him. Her gaze shifted up to her brother, and a smug look crossed her face. They seemed to communicate with one another like that for a moment, before Kenny just sighed and turned. 

“Alright, we’ve got the girls. Tricia, Fucker knows where you’re going, right? Don’t wanna have to deal with his whiny ass later,” he said. The ginger nodded, rolling her eyes.

“He does, I don’t know why he’s acting like he cares, though. Asshole,” she muttered, reaching for Karen’s hand again. The four continued down the sidewalk. “I hate him. Why can’t I have you as a brother instead?” She complained, glaring halfheartedly at Kenny.

He shrugged, grinning. “I dunno, but I don’t think I’d be able t’ handle both you and Karen. If I had a little help, maybe.” He winked at Butters, causing the two girls to burst into giggles as Leo’s face heated up. He pulled on the drawstrings of Kenny’s hood, appreciating how much it covered his face.

Several more minutes of incessant teasing from both sides in the small group passed and they finally arrived at the Broflovski residence. “We’ll have to leave in a few hours, I’ve got work and Leo can’t stay. You two stay out of trouble when we do, and don’t bother Kyle or Stan unless you absolutely have to,” Kenny instructed, giving them the most stern expression he could manage while trying not to laugh. Tricia rolled her eyes in exasperation, hiding a small smirk, while Karen let out uncontrollable giggles.

"So can we bother Cartman, then?" Tricia asked.

"Oh, yes, of course. Absolutely. Piss him off to the point where he leaves. Don't know why the asshole would want to come, since he seems to hate us," Kenny replied. Butters shoved him.

"Kenny! Language!" He reprimanded. But said boy only grinned.

SIghing in mock exasperation, Butters moved in front of them and rang the doorbell, shifting his weight to the other foot as they waited. This was going to be a very odd evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! thank you for reading this weird chapter! it was supposed to go up yesterday but we were having internet problems hhhhhh  
> sorry if it seems a little rushed, i mostly wrote this while i was supposed to be sleeping because i thought insomnia would help me come up with ideas for how to carry on with the plot, but it didn't and i ended up not sleeping at all 
> 
> so im gonna try to update every friday now that class is over! 
> 
> i think this chapter's a little longer than the other one but i honestly cant tell at this point
> 
> anyways, once again, if you catch any spelling mistakes or grammar errors, please lmk! thank you once again!
> 
> edited this because i hated the vibe i got from it, finally got back into writing lmao  
> also removed chapter names because screw those


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